DH is an awesome father. He's certainly not perfect though, but he does an amazing job. He works 14 hour days, comes home around 5pm then plays with DS from about 30 seconds after he walks in until dinner time. He needs reminding to do the little things like help DS tidy his toys or set the table, but will happily do them when I ask (maybe not always in my timeframe). If he's had a hard or stressful day, he will certainly let me know, but he still has to do his 'daddy duties', and does them with little complaint (DS wouldn't have it any other way!). We ALWAYS eat dinner together and he happily helps out (cutting up DS' food, cleaning the floor afterwards, cutting up fruit for dessert etc), all without being asked. He then gets DS ready for his bath while I run the bath, clean up and get the bed etc ready. Story time is something we usually do together, then DH does the teeth cleaning, then DS and I feed the fish and finally, DH puts DS to bed (again, DS wouldn't have it any other way!).

When DS was little and used to wake up in the night for a feed, DH would change his nappy and bring him to me for a feed, then take him back to bed afterwards about 90% of the time. If DS woke up upset, DH wouldn't/couldn't go back to sleep until he knew he was ok. I'd usually get up to him, but DH would happily do it too, especially on weekends. If I didn't come back to bed after about 15 minutes, he'd come in and see how we were going/offer to help.

On the weekends, DH does the majority of nappy changes and ALWAYS puts him down for his nap. DS spends 90% of the day with DH, mainly because DS is such a Daddy's boy. It does wear DH out, and I know there are times when he just wants a break, but he knows that time with DS is precious. He knows that I do all that stuff during the week so has a good understanding of what it's like for me. He's not the best with feeding - often forgets it's lunch/snack time, and if he remembers, he'll ask me what he should feed DS. But, I am usually organised with meals anyway.

We talked a lot about what kind of things DH would do as a father before DS was born. He never had a father himself and worried that he didn't know how to be a good father. I have a friend who's DH has soooo little to do with the raising of her children it's not funny, so DH has that as a 'what not to do' role model. We decided early on that DH would do the bath with DS as it was a bonding time for them, and that has worked amazingly here. A lot of the other stuff that DH does is initiated by DS because he demands that DH change his nappy/put him to bed etc etc. I've rarely heard DH complain about it though (except for when he has a migraine and DS wants him, lol!). It's quite a buzz for DH to know that he's wanted and loved by DS. DH sees it as a compliment rather than a chore. There was a stage when DH was oblivious to the fact that I was doing it tough at home and needed some support, but I realised that while I thought I was being abundantly clear, I really wasn't! Once DH knew how I felt and what I wanted (stated in words of one syllable), he was happy to help.

I agree with PP's that you need to say, clearly, concisely and without blame, what you want. Start small by asking for say, 10 minutes before dinner each night so you can prepare tea and work up to bigger things.